Capilano Rehab Centre Injury Report – March 1, 2016

We welcome the month of March into Oil Country with a big ol’ how-do-ya-do shoulder injury to Benoit Pouliot. After watching him slide into the boards head first against the Islanders the other day. I was surprised to see that he didn’t burst into flames after that crash. 

Does Benoit Pouliot have a separated shoulder? Probably. Do I know for sure? Hell no. Todd McLellan says that Pouliot is out with a long term shoulder injury, and knowing the Oilers this year, that’s all we will ever know. They probably won’t ever tell us what really happened to Pou until he’s days away from returning. IF he’s even going to return at all this year.

The fact that the Oilers are so hush hush with injuries this year can make an injury reporter very angry. The secrecy is pretty much leading me to spread rumours about what’s actually going on with the players. With that said, I feel like it’s safe to say that they had to do an emergency amputation on Ben’s (can I call him Ben?) shoulder. Like, HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE AN ARM IN THIS PHOTO.

Obviously, the Oilers will be replacing the arm with something robotic, probably mixing in some HGH, sugar, spice, along with everything nice. It has to be the main reason why they’re not releasing a timeline. They haven’t perfected the procedure yet so they are just stalling. In fact, all of the Oiler trade deadline acquisitions were probably made as a distraction to get us to stop thinking about Pouliot. Now that I think of it, it’s probably not a good idea to go into an arm transplant, blind. BAD OILERS.

Ryan Nugent-Hopkins has travelled with the team on their road trip this week, but not to play. Nugey has been skating with the team, handling pucks, and taking shots. He claims his progress is going well, and that he is feeling good out there. We don’t know for sure when he’ll be returning, but it has indeed been six weeks since he broke his hand in the first place. SOON.

Oscar Klefbom has also been on the ice, this week! Looks like he started skating yesterday with no equipment on which is fine by me. “Skating without equipment is better than not skating with equipment.”  That’s what I always say! Would you just look at those abs through his jacket? I think I would. *swoons* I think after all this time of Klefbom being on the IR we can come to the conclusion that staph infections are a real thing, and are very bad. The fact that the man is doing some light skating again is a magical thing, and I’m very excited. 

You know who hasn’t been skating lately? Eric Gryba. Gryba is still out indefinitely with an injured knee he suffered a couple weeks ago. I have no update for you on how he’s doing, so I will use my math instincts to determine a timeline instead. Gryba’s initial injury happened approximately two weeks ago. McLellan released a statement saying he will be out for approximately a month with a knee injury. Therefore, Eric Gryba should return to the lineup in – wait for it – approximately two weeks. Your welcome. 

For any of your injury needs, please contact our good friends at Capilano Rehab Centre or call (780) 466-1104.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! This week we talk about all the speculation heading into the NHL trade deadline, the fate and future of Justin Schultz, I introduce a new trivia game, then it’s another round of Ask The Idiots where we redo past Oiler drafts, wax poetic about Jessica Rabbit, play a round of desert island and more!

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