Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce Que C’est?

Imagine you are living in your house but your arch enemy also lives there. At any time they might jump out from behind a door and start chasing you with a knife down the hall. You’d be on edge, yeah? And you would also want to be the hunter, not the hunted, so whatever chance you would get, you would turn the tables.

This scene plays itself out in my house multiple times a day. We know that the apocalypse predicted in Ghostbusters has not come to pass because in my house, cat and dog make war, not love.

When the big fellow passed on a dozen-plus years ago his corpse was barely cold when we brought in a new family member. A cat.

Jenn was never a dog person and while she loved Ben in her own way (he adored her) she just didn’t … get him and his essential dogginess. Also, he smelled and he shed a lot, that’s how we lost the twins, big old black fur tumbleweed carried them away. RIP Maurice and Richard, we barely knew you. So when he passed on, in what may have a been a bit of a preemptive strike before I got another dog, she brought in the cat.

Now the cat is … well it is a difficult personality just say. You might call her a twat. She scratches and bites and hisses and is just generally a grumpy little demon. 90% of the time she is fine but when she isn’t, well, keep your head up.

For ten years the cat had the house to itself. I worked the long game but Jenn would not budge on the idea of a dog for years. Her stance softened from we may get one when the cat dies to when we renovate the kitchen then we can talk about it. So we had that renovation in the plans and then the Covid hit.

Whilst on social media she saw a friend of ours had a new puppy. This friend is not a dog person at all and so Jenn was intrigued, astounded even! How could it be?!?! And then our friend said yeah the breeder just had a new litter drop, you should get one. And that is how Lucy came into our lives.

I was hoping for something a little more robust than a little Shih Tzu but like most small dogs she has a big personality and she is the sweetest thing, quite frankly without her the last two years would have been way more hellish than they were. And yet for the cat … well let’s just say she is not pleased.

The dog wants to play, that all she wants to do, so if you remember the old Looney Tunes cartoon where the puppy comes up behind Claude the cat and barks and then the cat invariably ends up on the ceiling, terrified, well for a few months that was our house. And then the cat began to strike back. So the dog will be in our bedroom and then suddenly a feline paw comes out from under the bed and swats her in the head. Just today the dog was rolling around on the bed when the cat came in and sat down, having a lounge in the sunspot when suddenly the dog launched itself through the air, scaring the cat out of what few wits it has. And so it goes.

You youngsters probably don’t recall but there was a great Bugs Bunny bit, it may have been The Barber of Seville, where he and Elmer Fudd take turns chasing each other, with their weapons becoming larger and more dangerous by turn. This is what goes on. The cat will be minding its’ business, the dog will give a roar and away they go, the cat fleeing, the dog nipping at her heels. And then the dog will come charging down the hall, the cat furious right behind her, and on and on and on they go. The dog thinks it’s a wonderful game although she doesn’t stop and smell the roses when the cat is after her, all murder and mayhem on it’s mind. The cat, well the cat hates the dog.

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Maybe my favourite thing about last season (and there was a lot to like) was the Battle of Alberta. Not just the glorious playoff victory but the fact that for the first time in forever the games actually meant something. The rivalry has always been there but when both teams are rotten, well, it just doesn’t matter as much. Even worse is if one team is good and the other is shit, well then, it’s not really a rivalry at all. I am a big Spurs fan and when the team was mediocre there was nothing worse than getting your heads kicked in by Arsenal or Chelsea, who were in a different league entirely. As Frank Lampard once said, in one of the greatest burns of all time, when asked about the rivalry with Spurs and an upcoming game, (paraphrasing) “well we had better win because if we don’t they will issue a commemorative DVD every five years forever.” For Spurs it was the biggest game of the season, for Chelsea, winning trophy after trophy, it was just another game.

So while I enjoyed Kassian going bananas on Tkachuk, it was really small potatoes. BUT NO LONGER!!!!!

Because even with Tkachuk and Gaudreau gone, the Falmes remain a really good team and if you hated Tkachuk, well you will hate Kadri (although he is not an out-and-out rat like that dirty weasel). Their window is closing but never bet against Darryl Sutter, he is some coach and his teams are a nightmare to play against. Can the Oilers topple them from the division crown? I think so … Calgary made out well despite the situation they found themselves in but I think the Oilers are probably the better team now.

But the awesome thing is … both teams are good and the games, well they will all matter. How amazing is that? We are not talking the 80s when the Oilers were the kings and the poor Falmes, with such a great team, had to try and get through them every year. (And then there were the Jets!) I think that both can contend and if the Avs fade then we might see an Alberta team in the finals, could you imagine? And it would have to be your Edmonton Oilers because while Calgary has a good team, much like the 80s, the Oilers are the team with the elite talent that can’t be matched.

Oh man, let’s go, bring on the 15th of October!!