GDB LIII: the mediocre Battle of Alberta

If the image above were even remotely true, the mediocre Oilers would feel empowered, even emboldened by their shameful performance over the last, oh, two months. But with 12 losses in a row, mediocre’s probably too generous a word.

How about downright sucky? That’s right. This team right now is one Simpsons reference from being the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

But fear not, Nation, for there is still hope. And that hope lies in the fact that Calgary’s star as fallen faster than every teenaged girl’s panties when they hear the name Edward Cullen.*

The Calgary Flames are 1-6-3 in their last ten. While their misguided attempt to mimic the DFF has a flattering tone to it, let’s be realistic. They are the superior team tonight. What they have in terms of, you know, hockey players, we need to come at with grit, heart, crust and whatever ever sports metaphor is appropriate at this moment.

But make no mistake. As Gregor pointed out yesterday, this is the battle of the losers. True bottom of the barrel sports on CBC’s famous Hockey Day In Canada.

Dubnyk gets the start tonight in the 2010 Edmonton Oilers Goalie Crap Shoot™, but regardless of who stands in goal tonight, the odds are not in the Oilers’ favour, as they’ve dropped all Battle of Alberta series’ this season to the Flames.

Comrie’s out again, even though he played against St. Louis last game. Mono will do that to you, and I imagine Comrie’s frustrated as hell. He’s a high-powered athlete, and this illness has reduced him to a bag of skin and bones. If nothing else, I’m hoping Comrie’s eventually complete recover and return to the line-up will help reinvigorate this team some.

Something has to.

If you’re feeling like a bit of a glutton for punishment, you can join Gregor and some of the other Nationeers at the Pint tonight, where they’ll no doubt be shouting at the television with such vim and vigour that they’d probably field a more passionate team of hockey players than the Mighty Oil.

Me, I’ll be at home looking for an upset win tonight. A win that means I won’t feel totally upset is what I’m saying.

Somehow, the Oil win this one 3-1 tonight.