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The Cracker Katz

Amber McCormick
15 years ago
It was reported yesterday that Katz Baseball Corp has reached a deal to acquire the Cracker-Cats. Seriously? Mr. Katz (the world’s 486th richest man) owns the drugs, he owns the hockey, and now he owns the baseball. He’s like Edmonton’s own Al Capone. Perhaps this is Katz’s way of fulfilling his childhood threat of “one day I’ll show ‘em.”
Growing up in Edmonton’s west side isn’t easy — I know first hand. The politics are enough to send a child to a shrink by third grade. Katz was probably no exception.
I imagine him as an awkward kid. Hanging around Meadowlark community centre in the winter waiting patiently to be asked to join in the impromptu game of shinny taking place before his eyes. Summertime games of slow pitch being played in the diamonds not more than 50 yards away from the now empty and dry hockey rink. His request to play being brutally and repeatedly rebuffed. The clouds seemed to part one day when told, “You can play but we don’t have an extra stick/mitt/ball/puck.”*
“But,” started Daryl, “I don’t have one. Maybe I could use someone else’s. If you let me I’ll give you my collection of petri dishes that I’m using to create a new Super Drug.” Denied. The children pointed, laughed and threw rocks.**
Katz promised revenge.
I’m glad D-Katz is spreading the wealth throughout Edmonton. He has pride in this city. I’m glad because I love this city, too. It’s my home, it’s where I grew up to be the foul-mouthed, sassy woman I am today. And where did I learn all the colourful descriptive words? At baseball games, of course.
I’m excited to see what this brings to Edmonton. In Katz’s press release he stated:
“We are very excited to be the new owners of the Edmonton Cracker-Cats. Along with our plans to develop a major entertainment and sports district in downtown Edmonton, this investment is part of a broader commitment to the City of Edmonton and Northern Alberta. It also reflects the ongoing development of Rexall Sports Corp. into a fully integrated sports and entertainment company.”
Translation: I am one step closer to owning the souls of every single Edmontonian.
The only question now is will the name “Cracker-Cats” rightfully be launched into space, never to be heard from again?
* It could have happened
** Probably didn’t happen

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