The dizzying heights of .500 hockey

 

“‘Confidence is the single most important thing in the game,’ said coach Craig MacTavish of the team which suddenly is a win away from reaching the dizzying heights of .500.”

—Terry Jones, January 11, 2007 Edmonton Sun

You gotta love Terry Jones. He’ll write basically whatever he’s told to write, and will do so with a straight face. Dizzying heights of .500 hockey. Give us a break Terry. Can it be that your standards have sunk so low that you’re willing to declare the team “good” because of a three-game win streak? Or are you protecting your coveted spot in the Oilers Press Box beside the popcorn machine by writing whatever MacT suggests?

This is a guy who earlier in the year called Dustin Penner “overweight and lazy.” If we were Dustin Penner and we read that the popcorn-eating mountain that is Terry Jones called us fat in print, I wouldn’t know if I should cry or laugh. It’s kind of like George W Bush calling you stupid, or Britney Spears calling you crazy. Either way, we wouldn’t take it sitting down.

Suddenly the Oilers are a win away from the dizzying heights of 500. Hmm. They certainly whipped the Coyotes but good last night. We had barely stowed our 15 game beers under our seat last night when it was already 2-0. The Mighty Oil have picked an excellent time to put a streak together. Come Sunday, the OilersNation four-wins-in-a-row gun™ will make its third appearance of the year. Hopefully, it will get to shoot something.

It won’t be Terry Jones, though. He’s too far up in the clouds covering .500 hockey from dizzying heights.