TINY BUBBLES

 

“Moron.”
“Wannabe.”
“Media junkie.”

After a year of taking a public flogging from blowhard bully boy Brian Burke, Edmonton Oilers GM Kevin Lowe responded today and delivered the verbal equivalent of a pile-driver from the top turnbuckle on Total Sports with Bob Stauffer on Team 1260.

Tired of turning the other cheek with Burke still sulking and shovelling shat his way over the offer sheet to Dustin Penner last summer, Lowe lowered the boom in an interview that’ll have Burke blowing snot bubbles until he bails on the fading Anaheim Ducks and skulks off to Beantown to put his stamp on the Boston Bruins.

If you didn’t hear the interview — easily the best Lowe has done in five years — you can find it by going to http://www.justagame.ca/audio/Kevin%20Lowe%20Full%20Interview%20July%204.mp3

I’m guessing Burke will have brain fluid shooting out his ears when he finally hears Lowe’s cutting comeback. Here’s an edited excerpt of Lowe’s comments:

“Where do I begin? He’s a moron, first of all. Secondly, he really believes that any news in the NHL is good news. Thirdly, he loves the limelight. I don’t think anyone in hockey will dispute that.

“Lastly, he’s in a pathetic hockey market. They can’t get on any page of the newspaper, let alone the front page of the sports. Any of this stuff carries on. If he wants to get into a debate about what our offer sheets did to salaries, anytime . . . I’m sick and tired of it. I think everyone in hockey is. I know all our peers are like, ‘Well, that’s Burkie.’ This guy is an absolute media junkie . . .”

Gold, pure gold, and overdue the way Burke’s been wagging his yap since Lowe plucked Penner while the Anaheim GM was busy flushing a big stack of Henry Samueli’s ill-gotten cash down the toilet dithering about in trying to sign Todd Bertuzzi.

The latest Burke volley came this week after signing Corey Perry to a $26.63 million contract — he sniffed that Lowe was to blame for the stupid money now being thrown at restricted free agents.

“They’re all being re-signed at inflated prices,” Burke told the Los Angeles Times. “Everything I said a year ago has come true. Every single word.Most managers don’t like starting fights with any other managers … thanks to the Edmonton Oilers, the second contract (for players) has disappeared.”

“You go right now from entry-level to what used to be the third contract, thanks to two offer sheets from Kevin Lowe.”

Between the offer sheets Lowe put on Thomas Vanek and Penner, Lowe forever changed how NHL GM’s will do business, and Burke hasn’t been able to shut his yap since.

Perhaps now, after having Lowe drive him cranium first into the mat and then go to the trunks and shred his gelatinous forehead with a box-cutter, he will. But don’t bet on it.

— Listen to Robin Brownlee every Thursday from 4 to 5 p.m. on Total Sports with Bob Stauffer on Team 1260.