Ugh

They say you learn something new every day. Yesterday we learned that broken laptops can’t fly when you toss them off your balcony. Today we learned the following interesting statistic:

This seems to be a pretty amazing statistic, but I guess it’s a throwback from the good ol’ days when the Oilers would stomp every team in the league whilst wearing fanciful ‘80s moustaches and listening to Bruce Springsteen while driving to the rink in their Cameros.

We could use a cool moustache and some Born in the USA right about now. We’ve got a 2008-sized headache and it’s getting worse by the day.

What is the story with the Mighty Oil? After we suffered catastrophic computer failure during the third period last night, we sat back in the OilersNation HQ and discussed the team’s fortunes the old fashioned way—by talking out loud. It had been awhile since we had taken this approach but we soon remembered how to talk. It’s sort of like typing but without a keyboard.

MacT is of the mind that the main difference between the 4–0 Oilers of 2008 and the 0–3 Oilers of 2008 is “Special teams and goaltending. That’s the difference. That’s it.” It’s a convenient answer and certainly one that holds some water considering the PK is somehow ranked 31st in the league and the once-hot PP isn’t much better.

In what remains of our mind, the Oil are lacking in virtually every department at the moment. There is no outlet pass being sought, no one is skating through the neutral zone and the passing in the offensive zone is on the perimeter at best—and non-existent at worst. The defence is reasonably sound though the penalty kill is lacking in virtually every aspect. By our count the Mighty Oil have probably won around one per cent of the battles for the puck in the last four games which is usually a stat you want to have a hair higher for success.

But you don’t have to take our word for it. Let’s hash it out here, Nation.

What on earth is going on? Tell us please so we can sleep at night!

Love,
Wanye Gretz IV