Why we hate reading the sports sections in Edmonton

 

Let’s open the old sports page to see what’s crackin with the Mighty Oil this morning. First off we have the Edmonton Sun, we can see here an article on the Oilers icing a red hot trio of kids as a line. Interesting.

Now let’s go take a peek at the Journal. Oh. The Oilers are icing a ‘kid line,’ short on playing time and long on potential.

They’re small:
“The trio had seen some time on the power play, but MacTavish is reluctant to send them out in even-strength situations given their lack of size — Gagner is the biggest of the bunch at five-foot-11 and 191 pounds.” – The Journal

“The average weight is 187 and the average number of times they’ve been around the block is none.” – The Sun

They’re young:
“Craig MacTavish was willing to give Gagner, 18, Cogliano, 20, and Nilsson a shot. They may lack size, but not skill, and so far, they have been holding their own defensively.” – The Journal

“He says that because there is an inherent risk in icing a line on which the average age is 20.” – The Sun

And Moreau, Pisani and Stoll aren’t scoring:
“Jarret Stoll has gone six games without a goal, four games without a point. Ethan Moreau charged back after a 113-game absence and racked up four points in his first four games. He’s now gone five games without a point, one game less than Marty Reasoner. Fernando Pisani hasn’t scored since Dec. 29.” – The Journal

“Compare that to the combined point total generated by Marty Reasoner, Ethan Moreau, Fernando Pisani, Jarret Stoll, Zack Stortini and Kyle Brodziak through the first three games of this trip — zero — and you can see why MacTavish might want to latch on to anything that looks like it knows which end of a stick you’re supposed to shoot with.” – The Sun

How many newspapers in town cover the Oilers? Two. Note: sorry Metro, you suck and no matter how many derelict homeless people try and push a free copy in my face. I ain’t havin it.

So why must they continually write the same stories? If you don’t think that the Oilers control what is written about the team in this city, you have to wonder at the odds of continually writing about the exact same shit in both papers. Must be a million to one.

It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It makes one wonder what other things are going on, that aren’t “approved for print” by Oilers brass.

Well, we don’t roll like that here at the Nation. No sir. MacT is an alien, Raffi Torres isn’t injured – he is on the run from authorities in Puerto Rico and Jarret Stoll is having a love child with Rachel Hunter in May.

See? That’s news we all want to read.