The Edmonton Oilers hired Stan Bowman as the team’s 11th general manager in franchise history yesterday. He spent 20 years with the Chicago Blackhawks starting as a special assistant to the general manager for four seasons, then spent two seasons as director of hockey operations, another two as assistant general manager before being named general manager on July 14th, 2009. Bowman won three Cups with the Blackhawks in 2010, 2013 and 2015, but then missed the playoffs in three of his four final seasons.

Bowman played a role in the Blackhawks rise in the early 2000s before winning three Cups in six seasons. I recognize the Oilers hired him to hopefully help them win a Stanley Cup, and I understand that will be his main focus. But it can’t, and shouldn’t be, his only focus.

The phrase, “With great power, comes great responsibility,” is how I view Bowman’s hiring.

For full transparency, I wrote earlier this month asking if it was worth the risk to hire Bowman. I said I wouldn’t do it. My mind hasn’t changed. However, after listening to Bowman speak at his opening press conference about how he erred, what he has learned, and the work he did with Sheldon Kennedy, I see potential in how this hiring could make a difference that is much larger than hockey.

The Oilers want to win. Their fans want them to win. I get that, but why can’t they strive to do that, while also becoming a leader in changing the culture of both hockey and societ?. Bullying, hazing and harassment happen more often in hockey than sexual abuse, but the latter is often the most damaging long term. We’ve learned how sexual abuse can actually alter the wiring in the brain of the survivor and can drastically change the rest of their life. It is horrendously traumatic, and while many victims of sexual abuse survive, sadly many of them still live with fear, pain, embarrassment, self-doubt and unhappiness.

The ripple effects of sexual abuse spread across our society. It can lead to addiction, anger and in some cases becoming the predator. It is a cycle that needs to stop, and the biggest positive that could come from Bowman’s hiring is that he uses his platform to push for change in hockey, and hopefully that leaks into all areas of society. We are naive to think bullying, harassment, hazing and sexual abuse occurs more in hockey than in other walks of life. Sadly, it exists everywhere.

In your neighbourhood, in your community and for some who are reading this in their own life and house — the data surrounding sexual abuse is grotesque. They say one in three girls and one in six boys are victims and the majority of abuse to children happens from someone in their home, a care giver or someone they know. The amount of trauma that spreads across society is unimaginable. It is why so many prefer to keep quiet.

Bowman and the Chicago Blackhawks made a brutal error in how they handled the Kyle Beach and Brad Aldrich sexual abuse case. Aldrich is a pedophile and a menace to society. They not only didn’t protect Beach, but when they let Aldrich go, they kept quiet about his actions. Their silence became catastrophic a few years later.  They said nothing when he was hired to work with young boys. He is a predator who looked for and found victims.

He had two different accusations while he worked hockey camps in Miami, although neither resulted in charges, and then while volunteering as a coach for the Houghton High School team Aldrich was charged with sexually assaulting one of the players after a party. He pleaded guilty to fourth-degree criminal sexual assault and was sentenced to nine months in jail. His victim, John Doe 2, recently settled a civil lawsuit with the Blackhawks and he signed an NDA so until that is removed, he, nor his family, can speak about what happened.

The majority of the Jeff Jackson and Stan Bowman press conference focused on sexual abuse — as it should have. In this case hockey takes a back seat. The sad truth is many in society have sat in silence when they saw, heard or suspected sexual abuse was happening. Sheldon Kennedy is a partner with Respect Group Inc, and they have worked with thousands of people involved in amateur sports and education on how to prevent bullying, harassment and abuse. I asked him how we can get bystanders to talk about abuse.

“It is very difficult,” said Kennedy. “What we try to do is create confidence around discussions and these issues. We need to build confidence around these issues that predominantly carry a lot of fear. In my first counselling session I was asked how I felt, and I had no clue how to explain how I felt, but over time I kept going back and I learned to describe how I feel. It takes time.

“In an organization, we need to be able to prioritize psychological safety and have clear direction and practice these types of tools in the group, so if an incident like this happens there is a confidence in the group, that isn’t the elephant in the closet, and we know clearly how to address it and how to communicate it.”

I will be evaluating Bowman as much on how he goes about supporting and educating those on sexual abuse as I will his signings, trades and drafting. Bowman was quite transparent at his press conference. He admitted his errors and spoke passionately about what he learned working with Kennedy and others the past two years.

“I’ve said this directly to Kyle (Beach) in person and I will repeat it for those here today and watching,” said Bowman. “My response in 2010 was inadequate. I should have handled it better and done more. I’ve had the chance to learn things I didn’t know from speaking to Kyle and working with Sheldon (Kennedy), and I’m looking forward to making a difference in the organization. I want to make things better and the only way to do that is learn from my mistakes and do better.”

Saying it is one thing, but I will need to see him take action. By being named GM of one of the best teams in the NHL with the greatest player on the planet, Bowman has an opportunity to use his platform to help educate those about the ugliness of sexual abuse, and to support the survivors. And it can’t be once a year. It will need to be continual and on-going for this hire to make sense.

“I think he is in a position to create and push change, and we need that in this space,” said Kennedy. “He can’t bluff his way through this. You can’t talk your way through it, you have to walk the walk.”

The last line will be the ultimate evaluation point for me when it comes to Bowman. I realize he is the GM of an NHL hockey club, and their goal is to win, but that doesn’t mean two things can’t occur simultaneously. I see no reason why Bowman can’t try and help the Oilers win a Cup, while doing his part to also help the millions of sexual abuse survivors. I’d argue the latter is more important.

I’m sure some of you reading this will suggest the last statement isn’t fair. That isn’t his job. I politely disagree. After what happened to Beach and the other victims of Aldrich, it became Bowman’s responsibility. He owes it to Beach and all the other survivors to use his platform and position to educate and lead change. The Oilers organization could show their awareness by making a donation and partnering with The Zebra Centre or SACE (Sexual Assault Centre of Edmonton).

Bowman is well aware that many disagree with his hiring. “I respect people’s opinion and those who have reservations. I understand why they do,” said Bowman. “One thing I’ve learned over time it is that is very difficult to try and talk people into things. I’m not going to try and make an argument into why they should feel a certain way. I respect that. My job is to win them over and the goal is to try do it through my actions, as opposed to what you are saying.  I want to try to earn their respect over time, and it might not come right away, and that’s okay. I’m here to make a difference and to make the team better on the ice, but also to bring change and a positive environment around the whole team.”

It will start with being vocal. I asked Bowman about what he learned about the destructive silence of not speaking about Beach, but also saying nothing to others about Aldrich and that led to him abusing others.

“The biggest thing I learned is the negative power of silence and not taking a bigger role. That is what I reflect on when I look back on it. You don’t want to assume other people are doing things (to stop abuse). You want to take an active role and make sure that things happen that are supposed to happen. It was a learning experience, and Sheldon said there is a bystander effect, and you want to make sure you do what you can to play a part and an active role in those situations.”

Will you be able to use your position (as GM) to further the cause and if so, how?

“I want to, Jason,” said Bowman. “What I really believe in is that there is ability to make change and to learn from situations and to grow from them. The other thing Sheldon and I talked a lot about, and this is really what the Charter also helps, is certainly what happened to Sheldon and what happened to Kyle is terrible, but fortunately that’s not as common as other things that happens on teams like bullying, harassment, hazing, those things are more common.

“We want to get rid of all of it. Not just what happened to Sheldon and what happened to Kyle, as those are clearly awful situations. But the Charter work is to look at a team, where maybe you don’t have that (sexual abuse) going on, but you have other things that can tear at the fabric of the culture on your team. You don’t want to focus on just one thing, you need to be aware of all of it.”

It sounded like he was aware of how his hiring was viewed. Some feel he’s showed remorse and is due this opportunity, while others feel he shouldn’t be hired. Both views are valid, but now that he has been hired, I hope he follows through on his words from yesterday.

I know yesterday was difficult for some. There are many things in the world I don’t have a good grasp on, but I’m well aware, and quite empathic, to those who have survived sexual abuse. My mother is a survivor. She was abused very young and repressed it for many years which led to battling depression. In her early forties, through extensive reading, learning and dream analysis, she remembered the abuse and was able to face it. She has written three books about her journey and speaks often with other survivors who are trying to put their lives back together.

Yesterday, I had three people send me direct messages or emails thanking me for the questions I asked Stan. More importantly, they shared how yesterday was quite triggering for them, because they were survivors of abuse and sexual abuse at a young age. I want to thank them (I will keep their names private) for reaching out. I know that just expressing how you feel can make a difference and I felt honoured you shared a small piece with me.

I love my job writing and talking on the radio about sports. It is great, but I’m also aware there are much more serious and impactful conversations that need to occur to make our world a better place. Sexual abuse is one of them, and I hope all the survivors who read this know that we are here for you, and we are listening. I’m proud of you for getting up every day and pushing through. I will never truly understand the pain and hurt you feel, but after many conversations with my mother and reading her books, I have a better understanding of what you are going through.

I applaud your courage and strength to heal and remember you deserve, and are worthy, of happiness.