My fellow Nationers, it’s been a long time. I wish I could provide a valid excuse as to my whereabouts but I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not going to start now. Life has been hectic to say the least. One thing I’ve learned is that shift work ruins everything. The majority of last season, and this season so far, has seen me either at work, sleeping, getting ready for work or forgetting that there is a game because I never know what day it is let alone what time.
I’ve been hearing some disturbing rumours that I’m not real. That "Amber McCormick" is a make-em-ups name. I am here to assure you that I’m real and, yes, they’re real as well. So let’s get on with this.
Lately the Oil have reminded me of a toddler getting ready for a birthday party. They get so excited that for the first couple hours they can’t be stopped. Running, jumping, screaming and taking the world by storm. Inevitably, they tucker out and you find them passed out in the coat room asleep on a pile of coats. It seems to be our thing.
Every person or team has ‘a thing’. I know a guy and his thing is to be an instigator and act as though he has no idea what people are talking about. You know who you are CB. Seriously, he’s the friend that does the stupid shit with you when you’re drunk and then sends you home to deal with the consequences. A few of our friends’ wives won’t them play with him anymore. It’s sad but it’s life. I digress.
My point is that we need to take accountability and maintain. This is applicable to not only the team, but the fans as well. I’m a bit of a hypocrite for saying this as I am usually the first to roll my eyes when I hear news of a loss. But good or bad, win or lose, we are the fans and we need to love them no matter what. It’s much like an abusive relationship. And I like my violence like I like my beer: domestic. Forget that old saying about slow and steady winning the race. You know who made up that saying? Slow people. Slow people that lose.
I admit that my Oil knowledge isn’t what it should be this season. I read the scores but highlights aren’t really my thing. Highlights are like the Cliff’s notes of sports. It’s as though they’re saying to me, "Hey Amber, come check out all of the awesomeness you missed!" Don’t even get me started on reading the sports pages. Me reading them is about as likely as me reading a book having anything to do with unicorns, wizards or some kind of orc. Not going to happen. Maybe that makes me a ‘bad’ fan but whatever my name is still listed on Oilers Nation.
But let’s face it, you aren’t here for my opinions on who should be traded or how they should mix up lines. You listen to me because someone has to ask the questions others won’t. Like, why does Tom Gilbert look more and more like a smirking James Spader in every movie James Spader smirks in? Or draw your attention to the fact that, in the right lighting, Eric Belanger looks a lot like Adam Levine if Adam Levine wasn’t seemingly same-sex oriented. And of course, why Ryan Nugent-Hopkins is beginning to look like Tegan and/or Sara when his hair is longer. These are the real questions and I am here to find the answers.
In conclusion, just because I don’t post as often as I’d like, it doesn’t mean I’m not here. I will never leave you my little lambs. I’m always watching. Sorry, that sounded more creepy and rapey than I intended.