Speaking Of… My Letter To Travis Hamonic

LETTERFINISHED

As many of you now know, Travis Hamonic has taken back his trade request from the Isles that he made months ago. First of all, I didn’t know there were takebacksie’s when it came to trade requests. Second of all, I think he is making a huge mistake. Here is a letter I wrote to Travis Hamonic on his decision. 

Dear Travis Hamonic,

Heartbroken – greif-stricken – dejected – glum.

Those are the words that describe my feelings this afternoon after you made your decision. In September, you raised all of Oil Country’s hopes by requesting a trade from the team that raised you. I really thought we would be able to take the reins over from the Islanders and turn you into an even bigger superstar. But today, well today you crushed us. You took our hearts, smashed them to the ground, and stomped on them like you would a cigarette butt. You made the wrong decision Travis Hamonic, and here is why: 

You may not know this Travis, but Edmonton is home to one of the world’s greatest tourist attractions. They are called the Talus Balls. The Talus Balls, or Talus Dome as some people call it, is a great contribution to our civic art collection that connects art and infrastructure. They mean so much to our city that the balls get vandalized every year because people just can’t keep their hands off them! Have you ever had your picture taken beside the Talus Balls Travis? Or felt the warmth on your face from the suns reflection off the balls? Doubtful. New York public art doesn’t come close to the Talus Balls. Rumour has it, next year’s team picture was going to be in front of the Talus Balls. I’m just sorry that you’ll never get to be a part of it. 

talusdome

I’ve got two words for you Travis: Connor and McDavid. When you put the two words together, you unleash one of the fastest, skilled forwards to ever play the game. And he’s only 19. By staying with the Islanders, Travis, you will NEVER get to play with this once-in-a-lifetime player that is Connor McDavid. You won’t be a part of any of the records he will break, and any of the Stanley Cups the Oilers will win with him. Is a 29th place finish not good enough for you Travis? Are four first-overall draft picks not good enough, either? I see how it is — once your team makes it to the second round of the playoffs, all your feelings change. I get it. It’s all good. *whimpers*

If you don’t want to play for the Oilers, I’ll get over it. I just want you to know about all the fun things we could have done if you lived here. We could spend every second Saturday at the water park! They’ve got a zip-line now that I’ve never been on, and you could totally do it too! Don’t want to go to the water park? How about the millions of other things at West Ed! We can push the giant bat around in circles on 118th Ave too! The bat never fails you. Sick of the giant bat? We can share a Combo Box at Oodle Noodle! There are so many missed opportunities here in Edmonton that Long Island doesn’t have, and it could change your life for the better.

All I’m saying is that since you’ve taken back your trade request, I’m sure people won’t bat an eye if you re-take-it-back. Just think about it, and get back to me.

Your friend,

Chris

North x NorthGretz Podcast

This week we recap the Nation draft lottery party, try to figure out why Oiler fans refuse to trade the first round pick, and play a game of 20 questions before being ATTACKED BY A WASP during another illuminating round of Ask The Idiots!

PREVIOUS EPISODES

  • Nickel

    That should do it!

    I’m pencilling Hamonic back into my 2016/17 opening day lineup now. No way he knew about our balls… He’s definitely going to want to feel the caress of our shiny balls.

  • Moe Sizzlack

    Draft Chychrun #4

    Steve Kournianos, The Draft Analyst: Only a few of the strongest draft-eligible prospects possess the type of skill to impact the game in all three zones, and by impact we mean significantly alter the course of a given game. Jakob Chychrun, Sarnia’s towering blueliner who last season quickly established himself as one of the OHL’s most complete players, is at this point a likely top-five pick. He can beat you inside and out, skate through you or around, and either nail you to the boards or laughingly absorb a hit at full speed. He can easily be classified as a two-way defender, but what makes him unique among his peers is the way he divides his elite play equally depending on the game situation.

    Brock Otten, OHL Prospects: “The potential is sky high at both ends of the ice. Mobility is top notch. So is the shot and his awareness of how/when to jump up in the play. Defensively, he’s learning how to use his body consistently, but he’s a rock. IMO he’s ahead of where Aaron Ekblad was at the same age and that’s saying something considering how good of a rookie NHL season Ekblad had. Most well rounded defender the OHL has had since Drew Doughty.

    Future Considerations: A highly talented kid who makes an impact in every aspect of the game. He has impressive size and strength, solid overall mobility and the hands and smarts to rush the puck. He also possesses a strong point shot, sees the ice well and has ability to move the puck. Defensively, he plays with strong defensive gaps, and has the ability and nastiness to play it physical. Source

    LISTEN TO BROCK OTTEN “IMO he’s ahead of Aaron Ekblad at the same age”

    SOLD!!

  • RJ

    Boy I’m sure glad the Oilers kept Mr. I.R. Klefbom instead of trading for Hamonic.

    He’s a fine enough player when he is in the line-up. But he’s at 107/248 games in the NHL. He hasn’t even played half of the games in his ELC. And go back to his time playing in Oklahoma and the SEL. He never played a full season yet. I wonder how far you’d have to go back to see Klefbom play a full season.

    And yes I know this will get thumbs down from the ON faithful, and the ON bloggers who are contractually obligated to never criticize Oiler decisions or players unless pre-approved by the Oilers. I don’t care. Klefbom is a bum.

    (And if by some miracle he played even 75% of the games, that would be one of the only times in his career he ever did it, I will take credit for reverse-jinxing him.)

  • IronX

    Couldn’t all this “I don’t wanna be traded” deal be just posturing to drive value up?

    I can see Snow saying, “dude, do me a solid here, we will still trade you but I’d rather get something more than a silky-smooth-soft-lazy eberle; maybe I can also take a Hall or a Klefbom (if he can get out of bed)”

    So now the Oilers REALLY want him (because they think they can’t have him).

    I say we go the blockbuster way:
    To Nashville: RNH, Hall (I’d prefer to give Eberle away for either but the preds aren’t that stupid)
    To Edmonton: Johansen, Josi, Pred’s 1st round pick.
    We draft Tkachuck at 4th and play him on the right wing playing with McDavid

    BOOM! Zillions of Stanley cups
    (only dreaming but it is fun)