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Survival Guide: Edmonton Oilers Playoff Run

After my third night of Oilers-related drinking in the past week I figured that it would be a good idea to put together a survival guide for getting through this playoff run.

Before we get started on this thing, I want to make it clear that by no means are we encouraging you to binge drink during the playoffs. A lot of us can be dickheads (playful or otherwise) when we drink and doing so every couple of days is sure to cause some trouble in the streets and to the body. That’s why I’ve decided that we should all work together to put some rules down that will help this whole thing run a little bit smoother.

In yesterday’s mailbag, Krystal asked for some advice on how to make it through a playoff run without burning out and I think it deserved some further investigation. Now let’s take a look at how you can take care of yourself and the people around you.

TAKING CARE OF THE  STREETS

  • Don’t drink and drive – I shouldn’t have to say this but I know people are still doing it and the last we need is for you clowns to kill us or yourselves. If you’re drinking then find a safe way home. Get an Uber. Get a cab. Make a friend. Call your wife/husband/mom/dad/sibling/who cares, just do it.
  • If you feel the urge to damage property, don’t – This is another one of those things that I shouldn’t have to say but I know how fired up some of you can get when you’ve had a little bit of grandpa’s cough medicine. If you feel the urge to break something, go find a glowstick.
  • Treat the police with respect – If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that the cops patrolling the streets are just as happy as you are about the Oilers being in the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean they need to deal with your bullshit. From what I’ve experienced, the police just want to make sure that the shenanigans remain at a minimum and that they’re able to get home at night safely. They don’t want to arrest you, and they don’t really care about your Taylor Hall story.
  • Help out your fellow citizen – If you see someone that’s zig-zagging across the sidewalk your first inclination may be to take out your phone and grab a pic for Instagram. What I’m asking is that you check in to see if your fellow Oil fan is doing alright. This playoff run has been a long time coming for a lot of us and keeping an eye out for each other can go a long way in making sure that everyone gets home safely.
  • Befriend your fellow Nation citizens – With all the NationGear adorning bodies around this city it’s pretty easy to find your fellow Nation fans. During Game 1, I was cruising around the concourse talking to anyone that was wearing NationGear and it was pretty cool to meet so many people that come to this website and care for it as much as I do. I don’t know how large your circle of friends is but I’m thinking you can always use a few more and an easy way to accomplish that is to look out for NationGear and introduce yourself when you find it. Special shout out to the guy that didn’t believe me that I was actually me when I met him at the Oilers game.

TAKING CARE OF THE BODY

Again, we’re not saying that you should be out drinking every two days but if you are then you’re likely running into the situation of being hungover at work/college/wherever and those can be the longest days of all time. With that in mind, I wanted to put together a few tips to take care of your body during these long nights and self-punishment.

  • How much water have you had today – Are you making sure to stay hydrated? Have you replenished your electrolytes? From where I blog, the best combination of hydration and electrolytes comes from coconut water. If you can get a litre or two of coconut water into you the day before and after then you’re going to thank me. My second place vote goes to blue Gatorade. Both are delicious and both will help you get back on your game in time for work.
  • Get some vitamins in you – Chances are that you’re going to spend a lot of time eating fried foods through this thing and you’re going to need to compensate for that. I don’t care if that means you have to eat a kale salad for lunch or actually put some vegetables on your 12 inch Subway Club, you need to compensate for the punishment you’re doing to your insides. The last thing you need is to get sick during this run.
  • Eat something in general – If you’re planning to get rat ass wasted then that means you have to eat and you have to do it regularly. I don’t care what kind of diet you’re on to try and fit into that summer mankini but when it comes time for some extended partying your calorie cutting will have to wait. Tell your wife/husband/whoever that you’re sorry but you’re doing it for McDavid.
  • Plan ahead – Leave yourself a care package like I do. Whenever I’m going out for a night at the Pint I always have three things beside my bed for when I get home/wake up the next morning – Vitamin B12 tablets, a bottle of water, and a pack of beef jerky. I find that the best thing I can do to minimize the damage is to get something down as soon as possible and beef jerky always gets the job done. From there, I’ll crawl my way towards the fridge to grab the coconut water/Gatorade that has been waiting there for me.
  • Don’t mix alcohols – This may seem obvious to the veterans out there but it’s a tip that’s worth its weight in gold. If you’re starting out on beers you’re better off staying there because if you let tequila get involved in the equation you’re setting yourself up for a tough morning.
  • Mix in a water – I know that the last thing we want to do while partying is to stop crushing Captain and Cokes to mix in a water but it’s one of those things that has to be done. As Zoolander once said, moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty. Not sure how that applies but you’ll figure it out.

WHAT DID I MISS?

Now that I’ve given you my advice I’d like to ask that you offer your own tips for surviving those late nights and early mornings. Do you have a magical elixir that is sure to cure whatever ails? Do you want to shame us for our deplorable behaviour? Either way, drop me a line in the comments section. I want to know your survival tips for this playoff run and what we can all do to make sure we get through it safely and in good health.

  • Connor'sGotHart

    Baggedmilk please reply. It look like flamesnation have changed the comment section so that each time you add a comment the oldest comment is at the top of the page and the newest is toward the bottom but it’s the opposite here? Why?

    • 24% body fat

      use to do this, but I switched to the adult version gastrolyte. can be mixed into a shot glass of water and than drink a gatorade. Than take 2 T1s.

      DISCLAIMER, DO NOT TAKE CODEINE, ACETAMETAPHINE AND ALCHOHOL TOGETHER

  • OilCan2

    For a sports writer this article really covers the bases of nutrition.
    If you like water you already like 83% of me. Stay hydrated. Personally I drink a lot of fresh squeezed vegetable and fruit juices. Light, nutritious meals containing fruit or veggies work for me.

  • Stone Hands McOsta

    The 06 run in my 20’s was so much easier….this dynasty in my 30s with failing organs is for sure going to kill me…I am taking one for the team.

  • SanDiegoOilerFan

    To review, a hangover is caused by dehydration, a loss of electrolytes, and an overall inflammatory process in the body caused by the extra toxins (alcohol) in ur body. If u plan to party hard or ur not sure, get urself 2 bottles of pedialyte. U’ll find it in the baby/childrens section of ur local drug store. When u drink, u pee out fluids, and in ur pee are a lot of electrolytes. Drinking all the water in the world will only help you so much, your body needs to replenish the electrolytes that you’ve lost. So, drink one bottle of Pedialyte before you go out, and drink one before you go to bed. Also it may be wise to take 2 ibuprofen/advil before bed time. The advil will help with the inflammatory process and dont worry about ur liver, advil works more on the kidneys (tylenol is the one u never mix with alcohol). So drink water during ur evening, one bottle of pedialyte before the party starts, one bottle at bedtime with 2 advil and ur good to go to work/school/gym/etc… dont forget to eat…. Go OIL!!!!

  • Not a First Tier Fan

    Write your address on a piece of paper. You’ll be glad you have it when you lose the power of speech and try to tell a cab driver where you live.

  • Jamie B.

    Power naps. One hour of sleep after your work day before the game. The only time late starts are a benefit. Granted, if you have partners/kids this is more difficult, but singletons should take advantage.

  • Dwayne Roloson 35

    Another good tip is to bus or uber to the bar and then uber home.

    Why would you drive to the bar, uber home, uber back to the bar in the morning(while hungover) to get your car and then drive home?

    You can take 2 trips or 4 trips.

  • Ty Guy

    How about tips for a die hard oiler fan living in Calgary?

    1.take your car flag down at night
    2.safety in numbers
    3.do a walk around check of your car if you leave an oiler flag on it. hope the genitals are only drawn in the dirt, not keyed in the paint
    4.mutton chops are an acceptable replacement for a jersey if you want to stay lower key.
    5.if you come across unruly flame fans, stay calm, appear large by waving your hands and make loud noises…they will go away in the next few days and you can laugh about it then.

    • geoilersgist

      Meh, there is nothing to worry about living here. I recall back in ’06 never taking my flags down off my car. It might be different story if the BoA was taking place, but it isn’t.

  • Space Pants

    I’m sorry, but I find it hilarious how much common sense is lacking in our society. Are people drinking for the first time ever or what? I guess if you are really unsure what to do you can just wear your hockey helmet outside to keep you safe, maybe take a short bus.

    Anyway, Go Oilers! Like an article said yesterday, just enjoy the run because you never know how long or short it’s going to be.

  • Hometownoil

    OK, I have used this remedy since I learned from a ER Physician in Los Angeles when I was their in 1983 attending Deep Sea diver training. All I can say is that it works forme.

    Drink lots of water before you start drinking. Drink the best quality spirits you can afford (if that is your posion).

    Continue with the water to battle the dehydration that occurs.

    Now, when you come to the end of the night do the following.
    1) Drink 2 large glasses of water;
    2) take aspirin (it helps with the inflamation but has the bonus effect of thinning out the blood, making it easier to mover around and get processed.
    3) finally, take a couple of vitamin B complex as it stimulates the liver , which I believe has a tendency to slow down when you sleep.

    As an aside if you wake up to pee, remember to drink more water.

    as I understand this process, the hangover occurs because the liver has not finished its work. The Aspirin, VitaminB and the water addresses this.

  • Stick boy

    Don’t be a Vancouver fan!!!…Be a good winner and a good loser. Let’s just have fun and enjoy the moment. If our team gets booted from the playoffs just remember that we will be better next year so there is no need to start a riot. Let’s show how classy real hockey fans can be. After all we’re the best fans in the league!!