After my third night of Oilers-related drinking in the past week I figured that it would be a good idea to put together a survival guide for getting through this playoff run.
Before we get started on this thing, I want to make it clear that by no means are we encouraging you to binge drink during the playoffs. A lot of us can be dickheads (playful or otherwise) when we drink and doing so every couple of days is sure to cause some trouble in the streets and to the body. That’s why I’ve decided that we should all work together to put some rules down that will help this whole thing run a little bit smoother.
In yesterday’s mailbag, Krystal asked for some advice on how to make it through a playoff run without burning out and I think it deserved some further investigation. Now let’s take a look at how you can take care of yourself and the people around you.
TAKING CARE OF THE STREETS
- Don’t drink and drive – I shouldn’t have to say this but I know people are still doing it and the last we need is for you clowns to kill us or yourselves. If you’re drinking then find a safe way home. Get an Uber. Get a cab. Make a friend. Call your wife/husband/mom/dad/sibling/who cares, just do it.
- If you feel the urge to damage property, don’t – This is another one of those things that I shouldn’t have to say but I know how fired up some of you can get when you’ve had a little bit of grandpa’s cough medicine. If you feel the urge to break something, go find a glowstick.
- Treat the police with respect – If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that the cops patrolling the streets are just as happy as you are about the Oilers being in the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean they need to deal with your bullshit. From what I’ve experienced, the police just want to make sure that the shenanigans remain at a minimum and that they’re able to get home at night safely. They don’t want to arrest you, and they don’t really care about your Taylor Hall story.
- Help out your fellow citizen – If you see someone that’s zig-zagging across the sidewalk your first inclination may be to take out your phone and grab a pic for Instagram. What I’m asking is that you check in to see if your fellow Oil fan is doing alright. This playoff run has been a long time coming for a lot of us and keeping an eye out for each other can go a long way in making sure that everyone gets home safely.
- Befriend your fellow Nation citizens – With all the NationGear adorning bodies around this city it’s pretty easy to find your fellow Nation fans. During Game 1, I was cruising around the concourse talking to anyone that was wearing NationGear and it was pretty cool to meet so many people that come to this website and care for it as much as I do. I don’t know how large your circle of friends is but I’m thinking you can always use a few more and an easy way to accomplish that is to look out for NationGear and introduce yourself when you find it. Special shout out to the guy that didn’t believe me that I was actually me when I met him at the Oilers game.
TAKING CARE OF THE BODY
Again, we’re not saying that you should be out drinking every two days but if you are then you’re likely running into the situation of being hungover at work/college/wherever and those can be the longest days of all time. With that in mind, I wanted to put together a few tips to take care of your body during these long nights and self-punishment.
- How much water have you had today – Are you making sure to stay hydrated? Have you replenished your electrolytes? From where I blog, the best combination of hydration and electrolytes comes from coconut water. If you can get a litre or two of coconut water into you the day before and after then you’re going to thank me. My second place vote goes to blue Gatorade. Both are delicious and both will help you get back on your game in time for work.
- Get some vitamins in you – Chances are that you’re going to spend a lot of time eating fried foods through this thing and you’re going to need to compensate for that. I don’t care if that means you have to eat a kale salad for lunch or actually put some vegetables on your 12 inch Subway Club, you need to compensate for the punishment you’re doing to your insides. The last thing you need is to get sick during this run.
- Eat something in general – If you’re planning to get rat ass wasted then that means you have to eat and you have to do it regularly. I don’t care what kind of diet you’re on to try and fit into that summer mankini but when it comes time for some extended partying your calorie cutting will have to wait. Tell your wife/husband/whoever that you’re sorry but you’re doing it for McDavid.
- Plan ahead – Leave yourself a care package like I do. Whenever I’m going out for a night at the Pint I always have three things beside my bed for when I get home/wake up the next morning – Vitamin B12 tablets, a bottle of water, and a pack of beef jerky. I find that the best thing I can do to minimize the damage is to get something down as soon as possible and beef jerky always gets the job done. From there, I’ll crawl my way towards the fridge to grab the coconut water/Gatorade that has been waiting there for me.
- Don’t mix alcohols – This may seem obvious to the veterans out there but it’s a tip that’s worth its weight in gold. If you’re starting out on beers you’re better off staying there because if you let tequila get involved in the equation you’re setting yourself up for a tough morning.
- Mix in a water – I know that the last thing we want to do while partying is to stop crushing Captain and Cokes to mix in a water but it’s one of those things that has to be done. As Zoolander once said, moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty. Not sure how that applies but you’ll figure it out.
WHAT DID I MISS?
Now that I’ve given you my advice I’d like to ask that you offer your own tips for surviving those late nights and early mornings. Do you have a magical elixir that is sure to cure whatever ails? Do you want to shame us for our deplorable behaviour? Either way, drop me a line in the comments section. I want to know your survival tips for this playoff run and what we can all do to make sure we get through it safely and in good health.