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The Capilano Rehab Injury Report 2017-18 Debut

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Photo credit:Robert Hainer - Fotolia
Chris the intern
6 years ago
Guess what injury fans, my weekly report is back and it’s stronger than ever thanks to our friends at the Capilano Rehab Centre. After the first year of the Injury Report in 2015-16, the people said “Chris YOU SUCK! Connor McDavid has a broken collarbone and it’s all your fault!” After ignoring many angry emails and petitions, the Oilersnation bosses said: “Chris we still believe in you, so let’s try another year of the injury report.” And so I tried it again in 2016-17 and then for the first time in ten long years the Oilers made the playoffs and no one got too badly injured so the bosses said, “Chris we were right to give you another chance and we’re geniuses, do it again!” And here we are, set for a third year!
Before I start, I would like to make it clear that for the first time in what feels like a decade, Andrew Ference is NOT in this report. You have no idea how refreshing it is for me to say that.
You may be thinking to yourself, “CHRIS YOU SUCK! Leon Draisaitl has a nasty eye infection and a concussion and it’s all your fault!” Think again haters, Leon Draisaitl was put on the IR BEFORE I even started writing this article. Take that!
Since I’m pretty much a doctor now with this weekly report, everybody and their parents have been asking me how you can get an eye infection AND a concussion from the following hit:
First of all, the concussion is understandable. Let’s not pretend that Trouba DIDN’T leave his feet and target Draisaitl’s head here…. Looking at it now, I’m surprised it wasn’t talked about more during the game. Draisaitl left the ice in slow motion and was obviously shaken up from it. It’s even more impressive (or dangerous) now that he didn’t even leave the game.
Now about that infection. My theory is that when Trouba made contact with Leon, his filthy, unwashed jersey spat dirty Winnipeg debris into an exposed Leon Draisaitl eye. If you ask me there’s no coming back from a dramatic exchange of bacteria like that. If you’re having troubles picturing it, just imagine the way a dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park spits venom into its enemies eyes.
Other Oiler injuries include Drake Caggiula and Andrej Sekera. We all remember Reggie tearing his ACL in game five of the Western Conference Finals (wow it still sounds weird to say that) in April. He ended up getting surgery to repair the ligament and is on a 6-9 month timeline. Though there are rumours he would be returning earlier than expected, the REAL rumours are saying that we won’t see the big guy until January. RIP old ligament. Just give him a new one and let’s move on am I right?
Drake Caggiula mysteriously got injured (likely in the Vancouver game?) and hasn’t played since. It began as an injured scratch for a couple games, and they have since added him to the Injury Reserve making it official. Brad Malone has been recalled from Bakersfield and is expected to make his debut tonight.
All in all, it was a brutal first two weeks of the season not only on the scoreboard but also on the injury side of things. In fact, if you ask Siri about the Oilers current injury situation she’ll tell you “maybe they should be a bit more careful.” Maybe she’s on to something here… maybe they SHOULD try to not get injured as much.
For any of YOUR injury needs, be sure to check out our friends at the Capilano Rehab Centre. Visit their website or give them a call at (780) 466-1104.

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