Can someone tell me why the Oilers continue to lose when we don’t even have anyone on the IR? This is not supposed to be how it happens. THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR! For the first time in a few years, we can’t even blame our lack of success on injuries, because it’s not happening.

For the second week in a row (I should add this has to be a record) there are no Oilers currently on the Injured Reserve. That’s right, we have a 100% healthy roster which drastically reduces the number of scapegoats we have for the bad season. At least last season I always had Injury Report Legend, Andrew Ference, to talk about during the report, but this year? Nobody.

Since the Injury Report has a knack for injuring players whenever I talk about them, now might be a good time to take some focus off the Oilers lack of injuries and look at who’s injured on other NHL teams around the league. After all, we can use all the help we can get right now and if jinxing our opponents rosters is what it takes then I’m willing to go there.

Here’s a look at our upcoming schedule for the next couple weeks.

Yes, the Coyotes are in last place but is that actually enough to trust that we can beat them without concern? At least we don’t have to worry about Niklas Hjalmarsson who’s been on the IR for quite some time with an upper body injury. Also, it’s kind of nice to see that other coaches around the league refuse to acknowledge the specific injury their player is suffering. So many undisclosed injuries as well as upper and lower body injuries. When is this ever going to change?

Tell me how this works, but for some reason, the Golden Knights have been one of the most beat up teams in the NHL AND one of the most successful teams. It’s not making any sense and I will continue to doubt that this is real life.

Oscar Dansk has been injured for most of the season with a lower body injury, John Merrill got injured last week and is out with an undisclosed injury, and Luca Sbisa is also on the IR with a hand injury.

Now, this might not be enough injuries to help us actually beat the Golden Knights, but it might be a start. It’d be a shame if someone like JAMES NEAL *cough cough, wink wink* couldn’t play our game on Saturday due to an injury? Not like a REAL injury or anything. I would never wish actual harm to someone. But I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be happy if Neil at some bad pasta before the game and couldn’t play the first half due to some minor food poisoning. We’re all on the same page, right?

Hell, the Vancouver Canucks suck enough as it is without my jinxing help. I’m not going to lie it’s been pretty nice seeing the Canucks have some success and then it all be torn away with all their star players going down with injury.

A few of them have returned already but for now, Brandon Sutter (upper body), Bo Horvat (broken ankle), and Chris Tanev (face) are all out of the lineup with fairly serious injuries.

The Sabres play their last game tonight before their league-mandated week off. They don’t have a ton of significant injuries at the moment – Victor Antipin (illness), Zach Bogosian (lower-body), and Jacob Josefson (lower-body) but maybe that doesn’t mean something won’t happen over their break, right? Again, I don’t wish harm upon anyone but it could REALLY help us out if Jack Eichel sprained his wrist swinging a golf club or something. Nothing serious! Just a little tweak to put him out a couple days until after we play them.

No, the Capilano Rehab Centre cannot fix all of our emotional issues due to the current Oilers season but if you ACTUALLY need some good, friendly physiotherapy services please visit them. You can call them at (780) 466-1104 or visit their website!