Don’t Drop the Soap

What does a girl love more than lip gloss and watching the recruits of the Edmonton Police Department train in the park down the street from her house? Drama, that’s what.

Former Edmonton Oilers owner Peter Pocklington has been arrested on a two-count indictment. Pocklington is charged with making false statements in bankruptcy and making false oaths and accounts. Allegedly, he failed to mention his two bank accounts and storage units. Oops.

How in the name of Gainers Foods does one forget about two bank accounts and storage units when you claim $20 million in debt but assets of only $2,900.? I know when my bank balance is dropping I make plans to hit the streets and make more the old-fashioned way: busking, you sickos.

I’ve never been a fan of Pocklington. In fact, I’ve thought of him to be a self-righteous, self-serving turd burglar. Looks like I was right. This scandal has me stuck to the Internets like OJ to a Bronco. Maybe Peter should have kept Eva Pocklington’s $150,000 diamond ring rather than giving it to Nelson Skalbania back in 1976. Poor Eva. Not to worry, he replaced it later in the ’90s with one equally gaudy. I had the pleasure of seeing this ring up close once upon a time. Eva was once a client at the downtown hair salon where I worked. Spoiler alert: Eva isn’t a natural blonde. Gasp!

If you haven’t had a laugh today, may I suggest a world-wide-web trip to Mr. Pocklington’s website. It’s at www.peterpocklington.com you can receive advice on “The Business of Business”. “Thoughts on Business” and “Laws of Business”. Be sure to have a pen handy you’re going to write some of this stuff down.

Pocklington is scheduled to make his first appearance in United States District Court in Riverside, California Wednesday afternoon. If convicted, Pocklington would face a statutory maximum 10-year sentence.

Finally, victory is ours for trading The Great One.