Since you’ve met, it’s been instant chemistry. Romance is in the air. You make each other laugh. She gets along with your friends, and you get along with her friends. It’s the best relationship you’ve both had. Those first two years are worthy of Instagram carousels with all-too-earnest taglines.

But as time goes on, there are squabbles. That happens after all. Who washes the dishes? Why are you playing video games all the time? Why do you chew so loudly?

The sheen wears off. You see each other’s flaws up front. All those annoying things they do get to you. Maybe even a fight about ideological differences.

Then, there’s this coworker of yours. Gorgeous. Successful. Perhaps out of your league. As your relationship goes through its adversity, your eye starts to wander.

You’ve never even considered her an option because she’s rock solid in her relationship. Or so you think. But…what would happen if she even broke up with her husband? Is it possible? Could it be?

All of a sudden, you strike up conversations, innocent ones on the surface but probing for bits of information.

“Everything good over there? Yeah? No, that’s good. Really good. I’m happy for you. Truly.”

It doesn’t help that your friend raves about your coworkers and how ideal she would be, the one. Everyone agrees in the friend group. They’ll even say it within earshot of your girlfriend…

Not likely

I’ve extended this analogy long enough, but this is how I see Edmonton Oilers fans’ hopes that Jon Cooper will be served with a divorce from the Tampa Bay Lightning.

The longest-tenured coach in the National Hockey League, a two-time Stanley Cup champion, is now part of four straight first-round losses.

You can argue the Lightning and Cooper accomplished all they can do together, being at the helm since 2013 and reaching the Final four times. Is it just time for an amicable split? Good times, fond memories, but irreconcilable differences?

Don’t bet on it.

“He’s here for a while,” said Lightning general manager Julien BriseBois on Tuesday morning.

Coaches don’t stay with one team that long these days. A contingent of Oilers fans was rooting for the Montreal Canadiens in Game 7 to put more strain on their relationship. Maybe Connor McDavid too, wearing red pom-poms on his couch on Sunday night.

He’s been around the block with eligible coaches before and became a not-so-secret admirer of Cooper’s after raving about Tampa’s structure following a March loss.

“They got a great system. They’re perfectly coached. They all know what they’re doing all over the ice. It’s impressive,” said McDavid at the time. “They’re extremely well coached, they’re extremely well organized.”

But BriseBois’ exit interview reads like Cooper’s job is safe. No lawyers or settlements coming here. Insiders tell People Magazine they’re “rock solid.” Cooper is a finalist for the Jack Adams, after all, although he’s never won the award.

Not to mention all the extras this season Cooper went through. He headmanned Team Canada. His father passed away recently. The team arguably did more with less than they’ve had in years, with a blueline that relied on up-and-coming players.

“It was a big year for him,” said BriseBois.

“When you start putting it in context like that, yeah, it’s amazing what he’s been able to do again. I know in our business, we put a lot of emphasis on the head coach. I’m certainly not taking anything away from Coop. You know my affection and admiration for Coop, but it’s a staff, right?”

Maybe it was just the Hockey Gods.

‘That’s been our excuse’

Jon Cooper said as much after Game 7. Whether it was the Lightning controlling the play and only allowing nine shots to the Habs, or the United States winning in overtime while Canada controlled the play in the gold medal game. He had a zen-like response.

“At the end of the game, and you’re just sitting there saying, ‘The hockey gods have been in my corner many, many times, and tonight they’re in the other corner.’ And that’s what happens,” said Cooper.

But others involved in the relationship hinted at Trouble in Paradise. Goaltending extraordinaire Andrei Vasilevskiy was much less sangfroid in his exit, clearly frustrated with the recent losing.

“I feel like that’s been our excuse the past few years,” said Vasilevskiy.

If his comments were in a Canadian market, they’d be fodder for an entire summer. He mentioned specifically the lack of goal support he’s received in five Game 7s and dramatically rolled his eyes when the Hockey Gods were brought up by a reporter.

“Hockey Gods, bad bounces…bad bounces for sure, yes. But at the end of the day, it’s a broken record, over and over again,” he said. “We have to man up here. Our big players should be our best players on the ice. Again, it’s a part of the journey.”

Swipe right?

So, are they on rocks in Tampa? Probably not. There is soul-searching needed, a solo retreat required. Time to cool off after things said in the heat of the moment.

At the end of the night, this seven-year itch needs two to tango for Oilers fans to see Cooper and McDavid link up at Rogers Place. Unless it’s a Danielle Steel finish, it’s just not meant to be.

The Oilers fan can cast a wandering eye to another Stanley Cup winner in Bruce Cassidy, the prettiest girl at the ball right now, but some say is high maintenance. He’s on the market if they like, bringer of high highs in the good times, but burns out a relationship fast, insiders say. We all know the type.

It’s a season of salacious headlines. Who DMs who? What are my options?

You have to be concerned that your coaching crush gets wooed by a partner willing to shoot their shot. Or be concerned that you dump your once ride-or-die too quickly.

Thanks, next.

Michael Menzies is an Oilersnation columnist and co-host of PreGaming and Oilersnation After Dark. He’s also been the play-by-play voice of the Bonnyville Pontiacs in the AJHL since 2019. With seven years of news experience as the Editor-at-Large of Lakeland Connect in Bonnyville, Menzies collects vinyl, books, and stomach issues. Follow him on X at Menzies_4.

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