Hey Oilers fans, Chaz here. Stop what you’re doing right now, put that mobile phone down for three seconds. I’m a boss sports writer, so you’ll want to pay attention to every word. Those high-tech phones are quite something; they’re basically communicators from Star Trek. Still getting used to video calls. Speaking of complicated, I had to sort out my ID yesterday; I guess I’m 92 years old now.

Slowly feeling more at home in 2026, but that cryo-freezing experience was intense. I’ll be honest, it still feels a bit surreal. Coming out of my trailer the other day, I thought I saw a moose by the river, but it was just my mailman, Max. Sue barked and barked at him. Oh yeah, I got a dog named Sue. He’s been a good companion so far. Taking him for a walk, I’ve noticed fall seems warmer than it did before, maybe something to do with pumping tons of chemicals into the air for hundreds of years.

This shortened NHL pre-season is almost over, three games down and one to go. Three solid wins for the Oilers with many younger players getting game time. I joined the team and media for two road games in Winnipeg and Vancouver. To be honest, I was a bit concerned about my wardrobe, not sure these Lululemon leggings are the most flattering paired with a puffy jacket. People seem to wear anything these days. I saw some guy wearing pyjama pants on the plane. C’mon, I thought we’d all be wearing matching silver tracksuits in the future.

Our first stop was Winnipeg. If you’re away from a city for 50 years, you’d expect to see many changes. I’m telling you, I just didn’t see it. And you would think they’d build an airport somewhere near the city over that span of time. I mean, the pyramids in Edmonton were built faster.

The gang at the office told me Winnipeg had a new rink. Decent building, but I was expecting to see the famous Whiteout. By the way, that term had a completely different meaning in the 70s.

Most of the Oilers lineup were AHL guys and players on the bubble. The boys put in a good effort, they seemed to be checking closer under their new coach Mike Babcock. I was shocked when the teams kept playing after the third period. Ties aren’t good enough for people now? I can’t even imagine what this funky soccer shootout looks like. That being said, I was pretty happy when Marjala snapped home a wicked wrist shot for the OT win.

After the game, a few media guys and I looked for a bar I knew called “Rick’s Place”; instead, we found a club called “Ice Panther” near Portage and Main. The bouncer was dressed as a penguin ballerina, and the cover charge was the name of your firstborn. Once inside, we found nineteen firemen wrestling a family of beavers, a roller hockey team bowling with squishmallows, and a lost expedition of Arctic explorers.

Next we headed to the largest Canadian city on the West Coast, Vangroovy. I remember a T-shirt at the folk festival here in the 70s; it read, “Vancouver is Regina, with a view.” Well, that’s not true anymore. This is a different place entirely. It’s a real city now, not exactly world-class yet, but it’s an improvement.

The last time I was here it was overcast and rainy. What a shocker…it’s raining again! We stayed at a swanky hotel on the waterfront and took a hybrid bus to rink, whatever hybrid is.

I had lots of time to make a list of the most 1970s Oilers on this year’s team:

This time the Oilers dressed even more AHL players. Vancouver basically dressed their full lineup. So most of the press box thought it would be a 5-1, 4-1 game for the home team. Stop the presses! Do we even have presses anymore? Anyway, the outmanned and inexperienced Oilers team won 2-1. Stunning result, even in pre-season.

After the game, I had a question for the locals in the Rogers Arena concourse: “where’s the Canucks’ Halloween jersey? That thing is easily the worst sports uniform ever.” Let’s just say things escalated quickly. Vancouverites are sensitive, maybe living on the edge of an earthquake fault line has finally gotten to them. And that’s just their media, the fans are more emotional. It’s not too often you can stop a brawl by yelling, “I’m Chaz Horton! I’ve travelled from the future! Chuck Norris trained me to be a lethal weapon!” But it worked.

Stay groovy, Oil Country.